Well turns out that there really wasn't anything wrong except in how the installation from iTunes was working....
Seems like it wasn't, even though I had downloaded the new version, it showed the new version in iTunes, it never got onto my iPhone. Updated it yesterday on the phone, then got home and tried a sync and it is SLICK.
It doesn't need to connect to iTunes (that's restricted by Apple) instead it communicates directly to the application running on my iMac, and it is FAST!!!!
This morning I'm stuck waiting for my iPhone to sync yet again, for some reason it's feeling the need to re-install ALL my applications, I have no idea why it has to do this, but it's taking forever :(